8.27.2008

it's my cycle...i can cry if i want to



exactly 28 days ago this is what was going on, and it's that time of the month to revisit those feeling. instead of crying on my friends kitchen floor, this time I broke down in the middle of drum class. i was having a hard time with a new rhythm, i felt like my voice was not being heard ...add frustration and embarrassment to the mix and you get a beautiful little break down. i felt so much better once i escaped (20 min into the class) and was driving on the highway towards home.

i know this is cyclical. i've been taking great care of myself (friends and their kids came over to play, received an amazing Thai massage, had a cleaning lady in, taking my omega 3's and having a bit of chocolate when needed...super dark chocolate actually helps a great deal) and taking it easy. i have not snapped at Mia and the only harsh thing i've said to my loving and understanding husband was, in a very firm voice, 'i NEED you to get out of the kitchen'. i had planned to make a medium egg, but he preferred scrambled...wayyyy too much to deal with :) while i'm 'in it', i'm aware that i'm overreacting and that it's all hormonal, but it's real to me. i do try to keep myself in check, while still being gentle with myself, and do make sincere amends.
everyone dreads the visit by Aunt Flo, but i welcome her with open arms....she so generously brings with her total relief.

8 comments:

Bonnie said...

Oh sweetie I am sorry you are feeling bad. I know exactly what you mean. No matter how many times I have made it through the tunnel I am always certain that this time I won't.

Sara Ballard said...

I am so sorry Tanya. Big virtual hug to you! Love you!

Stephanie said...

I'm sorry you having a hard time. :( Sometimes a good cry solves all the problems. I'm glad you got some relief. Call me if you want an ear. Love you!

jw said...

I SOO feel ya. Love ya and I'm sorry.

anja said...

love you XO

Anonymous said...

Dontcha just hate it? I am very snappy right now myself. I can empathize with ya! Cry (and drink)...then you will feel all better!

hugs!

Gale

Andrea said...

Besos Mamita!

iMother2.0 said...

thank you, sweet & loving friends o'mine. if you read today's post on NIA, you can see today was a much better day.

Mae and i emailed back and forth (lovingly), and worked it out. i was heard and virtually hugged by her :)