it's my cycle...i can cry if i want to

exactly 28 days ago this is what was going on, and it's that time of the month to revisit those feeling. instead of crying on my friends kitchen floor, this time I broke down in the middle of drum class. i was having a hard time with a new rhythm, i felt like my voice was not being heard ...add frustration and embarrassment to the mix and you get a beautiful little break down. i felt so much better once i escaped (20 min into the class) and was driving on the highway towards home.

i know this is cyclical. i've been taking great care of myself (friends and their kids came over to play, received an amazing Thai massage, had a cleaning lady in, taking my omega 3's and having a bit of chocolate when needed...super dark chocolate actually helps a great deal) and taking it easy. i have not snapped at Mia and the only harsh thing i've said to my loving and understanding husband was, in a very firm voice, 'i NEED you to get out of the kitchen'. i had planned to make a medium egg, but he preferred scrambled...wayyyy too much to deal with :) while i'm 'in it', i'm aware that i'm overreacting and that it's all hormonal, but it's real to me. i do try to keep myself in check, while still being gentle with myself, and do make sincere amends.

everyone dreads the visit by Aunt Flo, but i welcome her with open arms....she so generously brings with her total relief.

sad vs. happy

for the last weekish, i've been feeling blue. not up to much. not returning phone calls. in my cave. pretty sure it's hormonal. the pmdd monster was at my door last week. this week, he's sitting on my sofa. this morning, i cried at a playdate. who the hell cries at a freakin playdate? it was a super fab one at that...faux camp out..with a tent and everything...grilled hot dogs and smores made with the love of the sun. i was sitting on my friends kitchen floor. crying.

i just found out that my scarab tat symbolizes good luck and happiness. hellooooo i have happiness tattooed to my BODY!!!! my dear friends were so compassionate, and Mia is so lovely and easy today. my husband is super sweet and will shift his pool night, if needed so i can go to drum class. my food consumption today included smores, hot dogs, watermelon and a corn dog. oh, try explaining what a corn dog is to a 2 1/2 year old...that'll make ya smile. 'but that is NOT corn, mama'.

what's funny...kinda...is that i've had a freakin rough summer so far, and i haven't cried. at all. i've even TRIED to cry. nothing. until i'm sitting on the kitchen floor of a playdate. for a silly reason. i cried. i wanted to let it loose and bawl like a baby...but i'll save that for my husband. for some reason he likes when i cry....he says i always feel better, he feels like he can actually comforting, and my eyes turn a gorgeous shade of bright blue :) so, the lil waterworks at the playdate this morning did in fact release a lot of crap...

i feel better....kind of happy :)

and here's the rest of the weekend

The tree is up! It only fell on me twice. Now it's strapped and wighted, so there's nothing that will bring that thing over. At last count there were a little over 1,800 little lights on there, so the ornaments were taking second place, but just kept adding ornaments :) The mantle, counter, front table, banisters and door are all done and sparkly :)

I finished wrapping up some gifts, and got those stuck under the tree. We wanted all the decorating be be finished before Mia came home 1) to see her face when she walked it 2) because we didn't want her all twisted up in lights :)

Oh, I totally forgot something that we did yesterday. I've been wanting to go for forever, and since we were alone, we could actually go TARGET SHOOTING!!!! We saw the sign for Red's Indoor Range and pulled on in. The only target shooting I've ever done was at my Uncle's ranch and that was forever ago. So, we signed our waivers, got our protective ear and eye wear, rented a handgun just like Daryl's, got some ammo and went shooting! I had the best time with everything from loading the clip, firing, and re-loading. It takes a little longer than in the movies :) When we were finished, we checked out the info about a concealed handgun license. Daryl already has his.
Sunday, Daryl and I finally got it together and headed out to Dripping Springs to visit with family and pick up the snapper. Joe, Melissa and Gwen were there when we got there, so we heard stories of how the girls played together. When Mia woke up , she she'd us how she chalks her cue and 'pokes' the balls on the pool table.

We hung out for the rest of the afternoon. Mia is so relaxed here, it's like her second home. Dee and Tom really engage with her, and Mia's needs, wants and desires are always met. Yes, she gets a tad bit spoiled here, but what are Nana & Paw Paw's for? Daryl was able to climb up in the attic to get cable hooked up in the pool room.

I went outside with Mia and her Paw Paw while they fed the deer that comes by everyday. Mia was excited, and they shook the bucket, but no deer. They left the food out there for him anyway. Apparently the deer meets them out there for a snack everyday!

Daryl and Mia practiced 'poking' the pool balls. She precisely chalks her cue and pokes like a pro! You have to watch the video of her saying 'poke it' it's so cute with her little voice. While on the table, she kept saying owie and I didn't know why. Later they explained that they've told Mia the lights directly above the table are very hot...so they're owies and shouldn't be touched. So, when the lights grab her attention, she says owie. What great grandparents she has!

Dee and I worked together and created a wonderful dinner of Cornish hens with a mushroom gravy, baked potatoes, corn and broccoli with cheese. Tom raved about my gravy...he's a picky one, so I was very pleased that he enjoyed it. Then Mia, Nana and I played 'clean up' with Mia and got the house back to something pretty close to normal. I'm sure they'll find Lego's and things around in the days to come.
When we got home, all the Christmas lights were on, and Mia was just thrilled. She loved the tree and all it's decorations, she wasn't really into the stockings, but dig enjoy the snow globe and Santa area....oh, and the banister going upstairs. Mia and her Dada checked out the tree and the gifts...but the gifts are still wrapped! :) All the decorations on the bottom are shatterproof. Once told that she could gently 'touch' things and not remove them from the tree, she followed the rules very well.

We've added more pics to our Christmas album

and more to our Dripping Springs album, too

Here's some video of fun at Nana & Paw Paw's house:


Tree video:

Hopper Time

Well. I'm feeling a little better. The Doc said I was at the beginnings of a virus...that never came. I never developed any symptoms, and feel fine. My thyroid check won't be in till Wed, but we remembered that I'd been diagnosed with PMDD a few months ago. I haven't had any severe symptoms since then, so I forgot about it. Well, symptoms for hypothyroidism and PMDD are very similar. So, now we're treating the PMDD, and won't forget about it this time. On, to stuff about the snapper...

Yesterday, we went to the Angel Valley Organic Farm in Jonestown. We saw Mama friend, Donna and her crew driving out as we were walking in. Then ran into a fellow Mama, Wendy and her husband Gabe and their kiddo, Zephyr. After I picked out some wonderful looking veg... Brussel sprout greens, red peppers, broccoli, turnips and some Japanese eggplant, we went for a look around the farm. Mia was enchanted by all the hoppers (grasshoppers) around. I caught one for Mia and Zephyr to check out. Mia loved it, Zephyr was not very impressed and swatted it from my hand...let's hope it survived the fall. They both loved the chickens, though.

Then we went for lunch at our fav little Mexican restaurant in Cedar Park, Los Reyes. It was yummy, as usual. Then we headed home for the UT game. Mia learned how to say 'hook 'em horns' and was able to get her pointer and pinkie fingers to make the hook 'em sign ... only once. She did love running around saying hook 'em while waving the peace sign around :)

cutie at the farm

checkin' out a hopper Mia found another stick to write with Hittin' the bottle during half time

It's hopper time:

Hook 'em...sort of, but not really: